ADHD and Overwhelm: Why Small Tasks Feel Impossible
Tonya Rothe 
If small tasks feel huge, you’re not alone. ADHD overwhelm is real. Here’s why it happens, how I’m learning to live with it, and how you can too.
I’ll tell you something personal...
At 53, I’ve stopped waiting for the day when “small tasks” magically feel small.
For me, overwhelm shows up in places that should be easy — clean clothes on the bed, wiping the bathroom sink, answering a simple email.
I don’t love it.
But I’m not fighting it the way I used to.
Yoga has a word for this kind of inner tension: dukkha.
Not “suffering” in the dramatic sense — more like that tight, uncomfortable feeling when life presses in and your whole body reacts.
And ADHD overwhelm is full of dukkha.
Why Small Tasks Hit So Hard
It’s not about the task.
It’s about what your nervous system is carrying before you even start.
Here’s what piles up:
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background stress you didn’t process
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sensory clutter
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emotional residue from earlier
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decision fatigue
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the pressure to “finally get it together”
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old stories about what you should be able to do
You hit the clothes pile or the sink, and your system says, “Nope.”
That “nope” is dukkha.
That tightness.
That stuck feeling.
That heavy pressure in your chest.
It’s not a flaw.
It’s a signal.
The stuff that always overwhelms me?
Clean clothes
I can wash them.
Dry them.
Fold some.
But actually putting them away?
That one step can sit there for days.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true.
The bathroom sink
One wipe.
Two seconds.
But after a long day, my brain sees it as 20 steps.
And that tight internal “ugh” hits instantly.
Emails
A single message.
But if I’m at capacity, my whole body shuts down before I even open it.
I used to think I’d outgrow these reactions.
I haven’t.
I’ve just learned to understand them better.
Why ADHD Creates This Inner Tension
Here’s what’s really going on beneath the overwhelm:
1. Starting takes more energy
By the time I think about the task, I’m already drained.
2. My brain sees all the hidden steps
Putting clothes away = opening drawers, sorting, folding, reorganizing…
Instant tension.
3. Emotional residue sticks
A stressful moment at noon shows up again at 7pm when I look at the sink.
4. Sensory clutter steals capacity
If the room smells weird, the light is bright, or the counters are full, I’m done.
5. Old shame makes it heavier
Years of “why is this so hard?” live somewhere deep, and they still get triggered.
This is dukkha — inner constriction.
The part we feel but can’t explain.
What Helps (and What I’ve Learned to Accept)
I don’t try to “fix” this anymore.
I try to work with it.
1. I lower the pressure
I remind myself:
“One corner of the sink is enough.”
2. I shrink the task
I put away three pieces of clothing, not the whole pile.
3. I use a tiny transition cue
One breath.
Stretch my arms up to the sky.
A few seconds of pause.
4. I reduce one sensory stressor
Dim the light.
Turn down noise.
Clear a tiny area.
5. I stop expecting myself to change into someone else!! (a HUGE game changer for me)
This is how my brain works, and that's ok. It has to be because that's my reality and it always has been.
At 53, I’m learning to let go of the person I thought I should be and I'm happier for it.
Not easy.
But honest.
Dukkha Isn’t a Failure — It’s a Signal
We were never promised a life without discomfort.
And dukkha helps us to recognize discomfort as something real, not shameful.
ADHD overwhelm isn’t a character flaw.
It’s dukkha — the pressure your system feels when it’s carrying too much.
When we understand that, we stop fighting ourselves and start working with who we are with more compassion and acceptance.🥰
Categories: : ADHD, Focus & Follow-Through