Why "Fixing Yourself" Is Toxic Wellness
Tonya Rothe 
Wellness culture says we need fixing. For neurodivergent minds and bodies, this message is especially toxic.
Unmasking Wellness EP 2
Typical wellness culture sells us the story that we’re not enough as we are. There’s always something to “fix.” For years, I believed that story — I chased programs, routines, hacks, and failed every time.
Looking back, I can see it clearly: the idea of “fixing yourself” was never really about me. It was about control. Systems built on capitalism and patriarchy thrive when we believe we’re the problem. If we’re always trying to fix ourselves, we’re too busy — and too tired — to notice how those systems keep us small.
For neurodivergent people, that trap is especially toxic. We’re told from childhood that our way of moving through the world is wrong: too slow, too fast, too sensitive, too inconsistent. Wellness culture adds another layer of shame by pretending there’s only one right way to be well.
But there’s nothing wrong with our rhythms. Healing begins when we stop trying to fit the mold and start listening across our own systems — our minds, guts, senses, and energy.
Every pause, every return, every moment of listening counts. That’s where real healing lives.
Categories: : Podcast Reflections